You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
