Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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