You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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