dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
