Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
