oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
