wat bout pragnant strippers??
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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