Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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