He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
