somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
