oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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