I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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