I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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