Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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