You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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