Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
