so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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