What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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