can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
