it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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