i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
