Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
