i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Who died my cat blue again?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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