And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
