Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have already put on my inside pants.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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