sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize