it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
