You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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