he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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