Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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