Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
