bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize