i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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