Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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