i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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