how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize