We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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