Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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