even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
