You're my little dorito
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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