so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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