i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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