two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize