This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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