Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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