dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
