i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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