I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
