you would pick up someone in the library
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We have started to decorate penises.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is Oprah even human
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
