i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
