He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
