If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
