WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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