Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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