i don't like sucking hair
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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