I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
