Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
