the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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