Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
