I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
