D3 body, D1 cock
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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