Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
