Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
